How do I keep my child from playing with the neighbor’s kids without offending the neighbors?
My 5 year old son is a sweet little boy. I believe children are innocent and it’s our job to keep them that way. My next door neighbor’s kids on the other hand are rude and violent. I don’t really want my son playing with these boys but I don’t want an awkward situation with their parents since I have to live next door to them. I’ve tried having the kids come over here and play in our yard so I can supervise and they don’t destroy my house. One of them got mad at the other one and picked up a soft baseball bat and started hitting his brother. His brother in turn tried to pick up our metal outdoor umbrella to hit him back with before my husband stopped it and sent them home. How would you handle this situation?
7 Responses
L L
02 Feb 2010
Rachael
02 Feb 2010
you just tell them your son isn’t playing if they come round and if your son wants to go to them you just say no,or if your sons in the garden and they want to come and play you just tell them not today
T1942
02 Feb 2010
While I understand & respect the issue of not wanting to offend your neighbors, their kids sound like evil little brats! I would just make up excuses to them, and if they have a problem with it I would rather be rude than have my son corrupted by a couple of little meanies.
Johnny
02 Feb 2010
I could care less if my neighbors were offended or not.
My kid would always come first.
♥мαмα мι
02 Feb 2010
I have to say..kids will be kids..
No matter how much you try to keep your kids away from the ‘bad ones’ they will always come in to contact with them at some point. Whether it be now with the violent kids..high school with the druggies..
You should just make sure your son understands that what they do isnt right. And only let him play with them when they are in your supervision so u can keep on top of things.
If you really dont want your kid to be around them you will have just have to come out and say it. Or just make up excuses if you dont have the courage to bring the issue out in the open with your neighbours.
Good Luck
oklatonola
02 Feb 2010
I suspect that your neighbors have abuse problems. I think the answer above mine is pretty good advice. Be a good neighbor and be observant about what is going on next door, without being nosy. Do you ever overhear marital fights or verbal abuse through an open door or window? I’ve lived in apartment complexes for more than 28 years. More than once I’ve called 911 when I knew there was a "situation" going on at a neighbor’s, especially when little kids knock on my door and say some one (male) is beating his girl friend. 3 and 4 year olds can be pretty observant. (Yes, this complex does accept section 8 vouchers, or at least they used to, but the current management of the complex bought the complex only 14 months ago.) I know you want to protect your son, but the real world can be a very cruel place. I’ve never been a parent, but I was over-protected by my mother because I’ve had type 1 diabetes since I was 26 months old. I was in private school from nursery school through 2 bachelor’s degrees. I learned an awful lot more about living in the real world while going to public universities than I ever did while enrolled in private school or Tulane.
tmp_18
02 Feb 2010
I personally say screw the neighbors feelings and do what you think is best for your child.
So, you offend them…Oh well! Would you rather something happen when your son is with these kids and have him hurt because you don’t want to offend your neighbors?
I think you are correct in having them play at your house, it seems as though their parents don’t have the same level of respect and discipline as you.
If another situation like that arises I would approach the parents and say something like " your kids where hitting each other and I wasn’t sure how to handle it, what would should I do if they do it again?" and aks them what "rules" they have for disciplining their kids. This should give you an idea of their parenting and will also subtly point out their kids poor behaviour.
It would be a shame if your kids could not play together due to poor parenting.