do you like my poem……..?
time for cushions of flower petal leaves
rest and stretches out over the mattress
toss till i find a comfy spot to doze
think then dream of what happened
throughout the wonderful day which has past
flashing lights and zombies of pavement
skip over the drunk on the argy cloud bench
past the shops of woman smokers hungry lovers
to the roundabout that has spun the road around
over the hole that falls deep to a fire flame
dodge the old wooden table of muk
television of blank expressions
lack to touch lack to say out i go
to the hidden world purple green red
time to sleep time for bed
5 Responses
bjoanne
07 Feb 2010
brn4646
07 Feb 2010
wow that’s really good it like calms me or something idk
Cami
07 Feb 2010
Amazing.
Beautiful.
I wish I could write poems like that!
blue_momo001
07 Feb 2010
cool!!!
cassie58
07 Feb 2010
Yes, I like it, Yes I understand it. Particularly like stanza 2. First 2 lines really good. Much better when you put a bit more meat on the bones – good poem
i really like it. it has great rhythm. i especially like these lines:
flashing lights and zombies of pavement
skip over the drunk on the argy cloud bench
those lines make you think.
however, i’m not sure if i like the last two lines. they seem like a cliches.
overall though, it’s not a big deal. the poem is very good.
gosh, i wish i could write poetry like that. is this for a class or do your write in your free time?